‘Street pastors’ in Shropshire patrol the streets at night, and help revelers who have lost their bearings (or their feet) make their way home. The qualifications required for such good Samaritans are as follows: you must be a church member; you must want to spend their Saturday night propping up drunk people and listening to their ramblings. Also – in a sign of the suspicious spirit that reigns in religious institutions – you must ‘have a complete CRB check and be able to commit to a full training programme’.
The reason for this requirement is that that drunk people (along with homeless people, people undergoing any kind of medical treatment or therapy, and elderly people) are officially defined as ‘vulnerable adults’ – and so anybody who helps them must be state certified.
Which makes one wonder how Jesus himself would have fared – spending his days helping the wanton and destitute – and with not a CRB clearance to his name.